I was thinking the other day about some ironies of being an introvert. So I began jotting them down in this blog post. Please feel free to add your own items to this list in the comments! I’m sure I missed a few!
I love being alone, but I often still feel lonely. When I get up in the morning, there is nothing I want more than to get a cup of coffee, grab my Bible and a good book and sit on my back porch. I could stay here for hours. Yet, I must get on with my life. Sometimes when I get up from that spot with God, I am lonely for adult interaction. I realize God is always with me, but sometimes I want to know that someone else cares, too.
I dislike the phone, but sometimes wish someone would text me out of the blue just to see how I’m doing. If you call me on the phone, there is a 1 in 4 chance I may not answer it. I may be homeschoooling. Or I may immediately wonder what I’ve done wrong, so I avoid answering. Or I may just not know what to say. However, as I go about my day, I get lonely when I don’t hear from people. Probably why I love social media! I love sending and receiving texts of encouragement, even just a “hey, how is your day going?” kind of text.
I dislike big crowds for hours on end and having to be “on” yet I crave time with a good friend over coffee. I think that because I have announced my introverted-ness by sharing awesome articles I read online, people may think that I don’t care to be invited places. Usually I share these articles because it feels good to be understood and I have gone most of my life feeling misunderstood. I read an article and I’m like, “WOW, someone else gets it!”
I love social media but I have wondered if because I’m so active on there folks think I must have tons of friends in real life. Social media is often my outlet on a bad day. An escape when I need some adult interaction. A way to share and encourage others. God has given me an online ministry in this place. And yes, I am very busy. But most of that is with homeschooling and teaching 40 piano students. I wonder if I don’t get invited places because I’m unlikeable or because I’ve said “I’m an introvert and love being alone” one too many times! LOL!
As one with an online ministry of encouragement, I often feel encouragement-starved myself. I realize that this can be God’s way of nudging me to be more intentional about relationships in real life. Friendship seems to be hard for me, well any relationship. ha! But sometimes when I try to think about the last time someone said some encouraging words to me to build me up, I come up blank. I don’t say that to guilt anyone reading this that is a friend in real life. I obviously don’t do a good job of this either! I struggle with this in my own home!
As I struggle through these things, I am reminded that Jesus is a FRIEND to sinners. He is my friend. I have the constant presence of the Holy Spirit in my life. I have His Word to lift me up. I have Him to give me strength when I feel weak.
Yet, God also gave us people. Relationships. Friendships. How can we serve and love others if no one is there? Navigating just how to be more intentional with people has been hard for me. I’m in a small group that I adore. I mean, I love these people. Yet, often, I only see them on Sunday nights and that’s it. I don’t need hundreds of people checking in with me, but a handful